KEEPING IT DIRTY*

[W R E C K A G E]

WRECKAGE:
Everything that's anything about everyone.

DOUBLE TROUBLE?

As you all know, Knoxville Holt -lead singer of The Drug In Me Is You- still has the identity of twin sister number one and twin sister number two under wraps. What are you scared of, baby doll? Your little sisters can't be any less of a whore than you are.

CAUGHT IN THE ACT.

At the first annual masquerade on the 20th held in NYC, lontime friends Hunter Holt (no relation to Knoxville, we're told. But we're skeptical.) and Trez Steele from Borderline Bondage were caught doing no less than sucking face in the middle of the dance floor. Pardon us, but we thought that uh.. 'friends' stopped at 'friends'. So tell us, Hunty- did that pretty green dress meet the floor when you got back to the bus? We think not. Considering Trez would probably much rather be caught in bed with Sean -even if that's probably already happened a time or a hundred- than a virgin like you.

INSIDE CLOSED BUSSES.

There's not telling what Adele and her tour manager Khole Vroomland are doing behind closed doors. But we assume it's no less than what we think- a bunch of hot, steamy, toe-curling sex. Could he resist those curls? No. Is he? Probably not. We don't blame you, though. We'd certainly tap that. That aside, Adele was seen dancing with Nixon Anderson from Beautiful Freaks at NYC's masquerade. But it's safe to assume his stayed in his pants. The boy's barely bright enough to breathe, let alone procreate.

LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL?

Spotted in New Orleans, Louisiana was Kenneth Jefferson and Jordan Ballard -the bassist and lead guitar for The Drug In Me Is You (touring next month, mind you)- were seen in Jefferson's apartment. Not only was ballard looking awfully bruised and beaten when Knoxville dropped him off -coincidence?- but Jefferson must've been super happy to see him, considering the two of them never left the apartment. We know Ballard isn't the straightest noodle in the box, but is Kenneth hiding a dirty little secret? We've all seen how he looks at Jordan.

WELL, MY LOVELY READERS! It seems it's time to close. Until next time- keep it dirty.

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