[Kenneth] Start a revolution

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan listened to them distantly. He felt the puppy snuggle closer up against his warm chest, and he tried focusing only on that, though he remained alert to anything the two of them said, his breaths quick and shallow.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"No, I guess I can't. My own dad didn't even want me." Knoxville said, shrugging his shoulders.

"I wouldn't want a monster either. Between you and Zain, I can't get a fucking break. I finally get what I want for once, and all you two can do is tear it away. Karma's a bitch, Knox.." Kenneth said, finishing off his water.

"You're just as selfish as your boyfriend. The two of you were a match made in ignorance."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan's eyebrows furrowed and he set the puppy in his bag where she would hopefully be safe. Climbing from the bunk, he stalked towards the tv and shut it off. "He's not selfish, you fucking prick!" He huffed despite the streaks from tears down his face. Jordan didn't know how to express his anger anymore except throw another thing at Knox, it being the yogurt on the table this time. "Just because you're pissed at me for ha-..having an addiction doesn't mean you can take it out on him."

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"That's not why I'm pissed at you. I'm pissed you're stupid enough to keep throwing shit at me." He said, tossing the container into the kitchen and nearly hitting Kenneth with it.

"Stop throwing shit, Knoxville! Just because we have a short show today and we're gonna be stuck on the bus most of the time doesn't mean you have to turn into Hitler!" Kenneth said, pushing the yogurt away.

[jordan marcus ballard]

"Oh yeah, that's why you started threatening me and getting pissy. Because I threw shit," He mocked with tears in his eyes.
'You want an excuse to be the fucking pansy you are? I'm about to put your brother to shame, baby doll.'
"But yet I'm just a pansy, huh? Real fucking nice lesson, Knox. Way to make things better!" He kicked at the table harshly before turning as he wiped at his face.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"You're only going to hurt yourself." Knox said, flipping the tv back on. "Go ahead. Down your pills and make everything okay again in your head. Don't worry about the real world."

"Knoxville, leave him the fuck alone!" Kenneth nearly screamed, tossing his bottle into the trash. "You're being a dick. You're not helping anything."

[jordan marcus ballard]

"I'm not taking the fucking pills!" He screeched. "I'll stop cold if that's what you want, but I won't be surprised when you aren't there to support me through it, either! You're like everyone else in my fucking life, Knox. Except Kenneth." He let out a shaky breath, stumbling as he rried to find his footing and reached to shut the tv off again. "And now you ignore me like it's nothing. I thought you cared, but no! As soon as you make a mess, you're too lazy to clean it up!"

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"Then why don't you sit down and talk to me instead of standing there screaming like an idiot? I'm not going to go out on a limb for someone who isn't going to help themself." Knox said, putting the remote on the table. He watched Kenneth walk past and go into his bunk.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan's jaw trembled. "Because there's nothing to talk about. You say you hate Zain so much, that he has no right to hurt me." He overturned his bruised wrists. "But you do?" He rasped. "If I can't trust him, why would I trust you...?" It broke his heart to say that, Knox was one of his only friends..family.. "Anything that happens now isn't just his failt, it's yours too." His eyebrows furrowed, and he flinched as Angel passed by him towards the bathroom to escape the chaos.
"You and Kenneth were one of the only ones I could even trust, Knox.. But last night when you pinned me on that bed-..." His voice wavered, those tears finally breaking free. "...It was nights with my uncle all over again. You helped nothing. You made it worse."

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

Knox leaned forward, gently kissing his wrist. "But you finally stood up for yourself for once, Jordan. If it means you're going to learn to start standing up for yourself, I don't care if you never trust me again. I know it makes me no better than him. But the fact you're willing to show him how he's controlling your life constantly, how he's got a hold over you and everyone around you makes you no better than him, either. If you have to hate me, fine. But I'm going to make you better in the end." He looked over as Kenneth knocked on the bathroom door, quietly asking Angel if he wanted to go get lunch.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan tensed and pulled back fearfully, drawing in a breath. He stared at his wrists. "I didn't..I-..you hurt Kenneth..." He could barely see past the tears falling down his face now. "I was fucking terrified, Knox..All I could imagine was you r-...raping me.." He let out a slow, shaky breath, trying to wipe at his face.
He heard Angel walk out and agree to go with Kenneth, but still Jordan just stood there brokenly. "H-help me another way, Knox.." He begged brokenly. "I'm so tired of being hurt and afraid...of being a....a fucking pansy, okay..?" He wondered if it would be easier to give up, stop feeling and caring...be numb even without pills.

[knoxville script holt]

"I've never raped anyone, Jordan. I wouldn't even sleep with you if you asked me, to be honest." He said, draping an arm over the back of the couch. He watched Kenneth pull on his shirt and shoes before he left. "If I have to hire a therapist to sit on the bus for you, I will. Whatever you think will help, I'll do. I'm tired of seeing my best friends so broken. You'll go to the hospital with me and see if they can fix you?"

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan bt his lip. "I know you wouldn't..but that's all I could think.." He wiped at his tears, moving dizzily for the clear other side of the sofa and sitting down. "..I guess, yeah.." He knew this time it wouldn't be medication. That had been how his pill addictions started, subscriptions to try and help gone wrong. It had just turned to drug abuse for him. He didn't want to talk though, trust anybody else, have their fans realize he needed mental help. But he supposed there had been worse rumors. He sighed shakily, getting up and stumbling hazily towards his bunk as the puppy started to cry.

[knoxville script holt]

"When I can find a good doctor, I'll get you in, okay?" He watched him go, chewing on his lip. He wasn't sure there was much they were going to do besides leave him to dose out Jordan's medicine, or start putting it in his food. Knox didn't have the heart to give him shots, and he didn't think a nurse would be on hand to do it every day. But if a nurse was what he needed, a nurse was what he'd get. "You and Kenneth are really good with that dog. Neither of you have complained about it."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan nodded, returning with the puppy cradled to his chest. He hesitated, but didn't sit as far away this time when he sat down. "Yeah.." He mumbled, petting her affectionately. "We worked hard to keep her alive..." He bit his lip, realizing that he was almost the puppy in this new situation, and that Knox was trying his best. "I'm really sorry.." He whispered, his voice wavering. Jordan had never dared use other drugs, or needles. He didn't like shots of any sort, and that was what kept him from getting hooked on such things. Pills had been so much easier...
"For everything..."