|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 7:19:38 GMT -6
"I'm fine. It's nothing," Jordan mumbled, pulling out the gumbo and setting it on the counter. He fixed has shorts some before scratching quietly at his stomach with a yawn.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 12:45:05 GMT -6
Kenneth didn't believe him, but he didn't say anything. He wasn't going to say anything. He messed with his fingers, looking down at the floor.
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 12:50:07 GMT -6
Jordan chewed on his snakebites guiltily and lowered his gaze, setting the bowl on the counter. "Fine, I lied. And I'm only telling you, because I need to get it cleaned up before it gets infected..." He pulled the leg of his shorts up carefully, grimacing.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 13:04:30 GMT -6
Kenneth carefully got up and walked to his bathroom to grab the rubbing alcohol and the gauze. He walked back into the kitchen, sitting his things down beside Jordan before he grabbed the paper towels. "Just don't scream like you're being murdered."
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 13:08:58 GMT -6
Jordan pulled himself onto the counter and huffed. "I'm pretty sure the knife hurt worse than rubbing alcohol is going to," He muttered softly, shrugging. He shifted his weight again, trying to sit still for him.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 13:12:36 GMT -6
Kenneth couldn't help feeling bad for him, thinking that he was so hurt and all he wanted to do was hold him and make it better. But he couldn't. He carefully poured the rubbing alcohol onto the paper towel, and ran it carefully over his leg.
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 13:45:27 GMT -6
Jordan drew in a sharp breath and winced, but stayed as still as he could, still holding his shorts leg out of the way as he watched him. He licked his lips and eased up after a moment, letting his breath out. His stomach churned and he knew he shouldn't have taken the pills. But he always knew, and he always did anyway.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 13:53:15 GMT -6
Kenneth finished cleaning it, and carefully wrapped his leg before he taped it shut. He started cleaning up his mess, looking over at Jordan before he quickly looked away and walked to the trash.
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 13:56:18 GMT -6
Jordan meet his gaze quietly, his own eyes showing his defeat. He didn't want to try anymore if this was how he had to live, hiding hours addictions and having his own brother beat him, being afraid of sex, or even the simplest gesture of compassion or care. He was drained physically and mentally, he was tired of being hurt.and he was far too close to just ending it all.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 14:01:58 GMT -6
Kenneth pulled himself back up on the counter, folding his hands together again. A million things were running through his head, all of them confusing and contradicting. All he wanted was to admit to Jordan that he loved him, but he couldn't. Not only would it be foolish to just come out and tell someone you love them, but especially when you were 'straight'. He finally got up and walked back into the living room, no longer hungry.
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 14:07:18 GMT -6
Jordan swallowed as he left, thinking he had done something wrong. Sighing, he fixed his shorts. 'You always fuck things up,' He thought dejectedly, fishing in his pocket out of habit. But he'd taken everything he had put there, and just crossed his arms to stop the shaking of his hands.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 14:14:29 GMT -6
Kenneth fished around for the remote, finally pulling it from the cushions. He flipped silently through the channels, stopping on whatever seemed most interesting even if he didn't want to watch TV.
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 16:17:33 GMT -6
Jordan chewed on his lip. Even Kenneth seemed uninterested in having anything to do with him. He finally got up and wandered to his room, pulling the two different bottles of anxiety pills out and carrying them to the bathroom. Tour was in a week..he didn't want to hurt them...
But he felt so out of place, so done. He ran a bath and undressed, unwrapping his leg carefully and slipping into the water as he relaxed. No matter how down Jordan felt however, he would never have the guts to try and kill himself.
He just wanted to feel numb... But ten pills later and his glazed eyes gazed at nothing, his motionless body limp in the water.
|
|
|
|
Post by kenneth ryleigh jefferson on Jul 22, 2012 16:24:03 GMT -6
Kenneth listened to the TV, his eyes looking but not seeing. He was just thinking over everything and anything. But soon enough, he had to go to the bathroom. He didn't know how long it had been since Jordan had wandered off, but when he passed the guest bathroom, it was oddly quiet. "Jordan?" He asked, knocking on it. But when he didn't answer, he turned the knob. "Fuck.." He muttered, mostly because the bathroom was so damn small and he couldn't actually get behind him. So he climbed in and helped him to sit up, shoving his fingers down his throat. "I'm gonna fucking kill you, making me get in a cold tub.."
|
|
|
|
Post by jordan marcus ballard on Jul 22, 2012 16:32:54 GMT -6
Jordan gagged and lurched forward weakly, shuddering. He leaned over the bathroom as his body cnvulsed and he threw up the half disolved pills. He shivered and coughed, knew he needed serious help. But he didn't want it.. He eyed the pill bottles as he gagged again, body jerking faintly with muscle spasms as he groaned.
|
|
