[JORDAN] when in rome..

[jordan marcus ballard]

A shaky breath passed his lips as he listened. He reached up to gently pull Kenneth's hand from his chin and sighed. "I just don't want to disappoint you, Kenny.." He admitted gently, searching his face as best he could in the dark.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"You could never disappoint me, Jordan." He gave him a gentle kiss, their lips barely touching before he stood up and walked over to the fridge to get a bottle of water before he walked back, sitting back down in his chair. "People get disappointed when they get their hopes too high. And my hopes aren't high. I know you, and I know how you are. The worst you could do was probably just tell me fuck you and walk out.. But aside from that.. You're everything I could ever want."

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan flinched some at the words, and looked away. "Yeah. Guess so." But he left it at that, wondering if Kenneth really thought that little of him. Shrugging it off, he shifted his weight, getting antsy. "I'll be right back.." He started towards the stairs carefully so he wouldn't trip as he climbed them, figuring Kenneth would assume he needed to use the bathroom. Ducking into the room, he felt around his bag for one of the pill bottles.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

Kenneth just knew he'd screwed up when Jordan said he would be back. "Be careful.." He said quietly, listening for him to go upstairs before he threw his water bottle across the room. It busted somewhere near the front door, and he didn't care. "Nothing but a mother fucking idiot." He muttered, getting up and walking to the back door. He didn't care if it was storming, he opened it anyways and walked out, sitting down on the stoop outside.

"Oh, Kenny. You need to get back inside, baby doll. You're gonna catch a cold. Bless your little heart. All that talent. Shame if you'd put it to waste, hun. You'd better hurry on inside." The elderly lady next door said, obviously hearing when he threw his bottle.

"Yes ma'am. I'll be in in a minute." He said quietly.

"That's a good boy. Your moma, she'd be proud of you. All them manners you got. Wonderful boy." He just sighed, putting his head in his hands.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan downed four pills and pocketed three more, aware how hard it was getting to go without them. He moved carefully back down the stairs, wondering where Kenneth was. His stomach churned angrily at him again, but this time had enough reason to make him convulse. He stumbled for the hard floor kitchen as he gagged, throwing up the pills and few bite of lasagna with a groan.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"Kenny-"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm going." He said as calmly as he could. He wanted to tell her he was an adult and he could sit on his stoop if he wanted to, but he wouldn't. His aunt and uncle had raised him better than that. He got up slowly, running a hand over his bare chest before he opened the back door and walked in. "You okay, Jordan?" He asked, barely making out his silouhette on the floor.

[jordan marcus ballard]

"F-..fine," Jordan slurred, slowly pushing himself to his feet. He was thankful it was dark, didn't need Kenneth knowing what he had taken. And he was glad he'd slipped an extra three in his pocket. "Let me just...clean this up.."

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

"Okay. Well.. I'm gonna go ahead and go to bed while it's still raining and it'll put me to sleep.." He said quietly, walking around the island. Truth be told,he just didn't want to disappoint Jordan anymore than he already had, say anything stupid again. He climbed the stairs and walked to his bedroom, climbing in between his sheets before he dropped his pants to the floor.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan bit his lip, felt bad. He cleaned up his mess and swallowed the other three pills, curling up on the couch when his limbs felt to heavy to climb the stairs. He slept hard, but woke up in a sweat, shivering and shuddering as he shifted his weight. He closed his eyes, hugging the blanket around him close as he trembled again.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

Kenneth finally fell into some sort of sleep after he couldn't hold his eyes open anymore and he couldn't beat himself up over anything else. He managed to make his way to the edge of the bed by the time he woke up, but he just laid there. The lights still weren't on, and he had no idea what time it was. So he just closed his eyes and pretended everything was okay.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan groaned, pulling himself to his feet and pulling his shirt off his pale sweaty body. He swayed dizzily on his feet and hauled himself slowly up the stairs and to the bathroom, dry heaving over the toilet, sweat dripping from his body as he gagged.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

Kenneth heard Jordan in the bathroom, but couldn't bring himself to get up. 'You're only going to say something stupid. You shouldn't have even told him anything yesterday. And you were stupid to think he would ever want you.' He reached up to rub an eye as he turned over onto his back.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan groaned, shifting his weight and sitting down against the counter slowly. He tilted his head back, wiping sweat from his jaw as he coughed softly and lit a cigarette up with trembling hands, blowing smoke.

[kenneth ryleigh jefferson]

Kenneth finally got up out of bed, looking at Jordan in the bathroom. He leaned against the door frame, everything about yesterday flashing before his eyes. "You okay?" He asked quietly, not really wanting to hear himself speak. He was sick of himself.

[jordan marcus ballard]

Jordan looked up, pushing hair from his pale face. "No.." He slurred huskily, patting the spot beside him before bringing the cigarette back to his lips again. He gagged. "Ugh.."